The Truth.

(Two warnings: trigger warning for any and all who self harm. Also, I am in no way endorsing self injury nor claiming that everyone who suffers from what I do self injure.)
So, as someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, I self harm.
I want to clear up any misconceptions about why I do this. Oh, another warning: I'm not claiming that this is true for everyone.
I don't want to hurt myself. I don't like hurting myself. I'm not a masochist. I hate the way cuts look and how I have to hide them from my friends and family.
When I get really triggered (which, for those of you who don't know self harm terminology, that is what it is called when something makes you want to cut/burn/scratch/bruise. Basically, it's anything that makes you so upset that you hurt yourself. Hard to explain to people who don't know what it feels like.), it's like this whole other part of my brain takes over. I have no control over myself. It's like this primal part of my brain switches on. No, not even primal. Something primal would want to protect my body and keep it safe from external injuries.
The part that takes over is sub-primal, out to kill the things inside of me, that aim to injure me internally. This is probably making me sound completely crazy but it's like that other part of me is more worried about the monsters inside of the than the ones around me.
And when its all over, I just bawl. I hate what I do to myself; I hate how I can't control it; I hate how it takes over my life.