I have been writing, dear friends.
Not novel length pieces, mind you.
A little backstory before I proceed.
My dad's company gave him four tickets to our cities' pro basketball team's game (SO MANY POSSESSIVES) and I went with my mother, father, and friend. You have to keep in mind that my friend and I only knew two of the players on the team, both of who were out with injuries for this game, so we knew exactly nobody.
The natural progression of two obsessive fangirls happened and we sat in our seats, three rows from the court, making up homoerotic stories about all of the players. We got so into it that we decided to make a blog about it, which I will include a link to, and since we have been writing "fanfictions," if you will, based on these fake versions of real people.
God it sounds so creepy.
But it's really not.
Our versions of these people are nothing like the real ones; I would know because since that first game I--and to some extent she--have become an avid fan of this unnamed team. I even bought a jersey. Bow to my fandomness.
So, in the absence of serious other works, if you would like to read any of my most recently written pieces, go to this tumblr.
First, read the players and relationships page and then go ahead and dive headfirst into the world of gay basketball players!
That is what I have been up to.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
We've Talked a Lot about my Sexuality But...
Before I start, because I have an unhealthy obsession with prefacing these things, I want to say that this is all true and all stuff that I have never told anyone. I hope that you all can respect and accept that.
As many of you know, sexuality is not the only thing that makes up a person. So, as I've stated a million and a half times before, I identify sexually as pansexual.
Well, while talking in my Sociology class yesterday about gender roles and what makes sex and gender different, it slowly dawned on my that, once again, there is something deviant about my brain.
I am physically a female.
I don't identify with being female though. But, on the same token, I don't identify as being male and that is when my brain slapped my hard across the face. I realized, only upon this discussion in class, that I identify as androgyne.
For those of you who don't know, androgyny or polygender or ambigender or a million other names it has is the gender identity wherein one identifies heavily with traits of both males and females. We display traits of the expressive (the female) and the instrumental (the male).
I think it started because I identified heavily as male as a child. When I say heavily, I mean I was mistaken as a boy up until probably the beginning of eighth grade. I dressed like a boy, talked like a boy, acted like a boy, did "boy" sports, the whole nine yards.
And then in middle school, I started getting bullied for it.
The song "Dude looks like a lady," or however it goes still gives me goose bumps anytime I hear someone say it because people used to say that to me. I was apparently this huge butch kid and I had no idea that it was wrong.
To make it stop, I grew out my hair. I changed, somewhat, the clothes that I wore. But I still catch myself sitting with my legs wide open, still hear the "boy" terminology coming out, still love the same damn sports, still don't wear makeup.
I don't identify as either because I don't think I ever thought of myself as wholly one or the other. Where was the fun in only playing with Barbies or only playing football? To me, it didn't make a difference what I was doing or wearing or saying as long as I liked it and believed in it.
So, here we are.
Avery, the androgynous pansexual atheist.
Could I really have asked for anymore traits worthy of discrimination?
Well, I guess I could be black.
As many of you know, sexuality is not the only thing that makes up a person. So, as I've stated a million and a half times before, I identify sexually as pansexual.
Well, while talking in my Sociology class yesterday about gender roles and what makes sex and gender different, it slowly dawned on my that, once again, there is something deviant about my brain.
I am physically a female.
I don't identify with being female though. But, on the same token, I don't identify as being male and that is when my brain slapped my hard across the face. I realized, only upon this discussion in class, that I identify as androgyne.
For those of you who don't know, androgyny or polygender or ambigender or a million other names it has is the gender identity wherein one identifies heavily with traits of both males and females. We display traits of the expressive (the female) and the instrumental (the male).
I think it started because I identified heavily as male as a child. When I say heavily, I mean I was mistaken as a boy up until probably the beginning of eighth grade. I dressed like a boy, talked like a boy, acted like a boy, did "boy" sports, the whole nine yards.
And then in middle school, I started getting bullied for it.
The song "Dude looks like a lady," or however it goes still gives me goose bumps anytime I hear someone say it because people used to say that to me. I was apparently this huge butch kid and I had no idea that it was wrong.
To make it stop, I grew out my hair. I changed, somewhat, the clothes that I wore. But I still catch myself sitting with my legs wide open, still hear the "boy" terminology coming out, still love the same damn sports, still don't wear makeup.
I don't identify as either because I don't think I ever thought of myself as wholly one or the other. Where was the fun in only playing with Barbies or only playing football? To me, it didn't make a difference what I was doing or wearing or saying as long as I liked it and believed in it.
So, here we are.
Avery, the androgynous pansexual atheist.
Could I really have asked for anymore traits worthy of discrimination?
Well, I guess I could be black.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Why I'm Afraid of All of That Lovey Stuff.
So, I'm going to preface this blog by saying that, no. No, I do not know any actors personally but thanks to this world wide web of ours, I think we can safely say that it is possible to have a pretty good idea about what actors are like in real life. With that, let us begin.
As many of you probably know, there are quite a few fictional characters/actors with whom I may or may not have a big, fat crush on.
When people ask me, who at my school do I have a crush on nd I tell them no one and they respond with nothing but disbelief and suspicion, I want to tell them the truth but I know that that would take too long and make me sound nothing but pathetic. And it is with recognizing that that I begin the journey of explanation to you, dearest blog readers.
I have such a deep, profound appreciation of these people--real and fake--that I'm afraid. I'm afraid that real, non-famous people can't live up to these expectations that I've built up because of the people in my books or on my TV.
I don't trust them and isn't the first step to falling in love at least trusting?
I wouldn't have the first clue, because I've never tried.
I don't even know if I'll ever try.
That's how afraid I am.
As many of you probably know, there are quite a few fictional characters/actors with whom I may or may not have a big, fat crush on.
When people ask me, who at my school do I have a crush on nd I tell them no one and they respond with nothing but disbelief and suspicion, I want to tell them the truth but I know that that would take too long and make me sound nothing but pathetic. And it is with recognizing that that I begin the journey of explanation to you, dearest blog readers.
I have such a deep, profound appreciation of these people--real and fake--that I'm afraid. I'm afraid that real, non-famous people can't live up to these expectations that I've built up because of the people in my books or on my TV.
I don't trust them and isn't the first step to falling in love at least trusting?
I wouldn't have the first clue, because I've never tried.
I don't even know if I'll ever try.
That's how afraid I am.
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